A year gone…

A year has pass… I dont know what I did but it just slipped out my grasp. I have been very busy with everything…. To the extent that I forgot to give myself a break (writing). I love my life now with my lovely caring husband, he is the best friend that someone could ever have but be careful because he can also be a bad enemy if things turn out bad… But well, enough with him. I am not sorry for 2016… because we accomplished a lot… Got a contract and got a big house ( it was a studio before that is why we really consider a big house what we have now) and everything is doing well with my husbands business. It is perfect…. But sometimes we sit and think…, if only I could turn back time then it would had been more productive. I cannot remember if I wrote anything in the past year… I have a study on going which I did not give any attention for the past 3 months… It has been chaos with all the planning and all the follow ups to get the mortgage… But it is all over now. Now I am back… But actually I have no regrets for all I did last year, I am happy and all stuff are falling on its places so I could say we did great…. I am embracing this year 2017 with all our dreams and hopes…



When I was a child everytime I see an airplane or helicopter I always waved at them and say “babay!!!” which means goodbye, just for fun and because I always found it so special. But yesterday I was really amazed how many airplanes I saw in the sky. I still remember before when I see an airplane I always look at the smoke or clouds that it makes until it will be gone. Yesterday the sky is just  full of lines that seems to be streets for the airplanes.

It is just like life. When you don’t have it or you don’t have the chance to enjoy it everytime you find it very special and everytime you have the chance to be with it you are really doing all your best to enjoy it. But if you see it everytime then it seems that the value lessens. I realize how unfair we became to ourselves. It is not other people we are fooling but ourselves. We forgot all the little things that made us happy because we focus much to the stuff that we don’t, and that seems to be big things because we don’t have it.  Yesterday while watching the planes above the sky, the only thing in my mind was, I was hoping that all the children in the world will have the chance to see also what I see almost everyday of my life… It is nice, it is wonderful… Enjoying life is wonderful.



Right now? I am happy and contented!

The problem is I cannot write when I am happy and contented… My ideas just flow and flow when my mind is under attack or my emotion is unstable. Sometimes I wanted to just be lonely just to press everything out of my brain… I have a lot of stories inside me but then I have to live in those stories to make it real, or at least somehow to write it down… But I cannot write when I don’t have the exact feeling that the characters may felt… It seems that I am cheating… I feel all the feelings of all the characters, I am them, they are me… So when I write just to write and I don’t live their personality and don’t understand them then I get lost…

How wonderful is this world of writing! You may become whoever or whatever you want to become! That is the magic of it…


When we meet new friends or have a new relationship why do we always take pictures? To remember the good times when you started? Yes, it is always good things we remember in the beginning of a relationship, no matter what kind of rekationship it is.

As the time goes by we get to know each other, we enjoy each others company that we don’t want to waste any single moment to take pictures. But sometimes having pictures to look at to is also wonderful. Because of our changing life and as we grow older we get busy and priorities change so we forget most of the experience we shared with the people close to us. It is amzing to find pictures that you just took for no reason before, it reminds you of all the things you have done that moment and the day before or after.

So guys, I am not a photographer and I can assure you that I don’t have the call for but I like to tell you take a picture of you and someone everyday of everytime something beautiful or even sad happens. For one day as you can see it again you will remember how you laugh or how you did your best just to succeed in life…



Live Life

Life is short. Enjoy it as you can. Live life to the fullest as some people say. Maybe you don’t dare to ride in a rollercoaster but it doesn’t mean that you did not live your life to the fullest. Everything has its limit, and we have to know also those limits, because everything beyond limits can destroy you and may change you.

Sitting in front of the television with the person that you love and trust is the most fulfilling thing we can have in this world. All the things is worthles without someone to share it with. I remember going inside the ruin castle in Valkenburg, The Netherlands and remember my husband and how I wish he will see everything I was seeing at that moment. Everytime there is a story to tell, a story to share… share it with the person you love…

If ever you are not with that person yet, be patient and as the moment you see that person you will surely know that you finally met him/her…

A child

Your life has changed since she came… Her cryings at night makes you wake up even if you dont want to. Her laughters in the morning makes your life perfect. Since she came everything has changed, you became fulfilled and complete.


The child you always dream to have, the child you promise to take care of for the rest of your life. There is always one thing you are scared of, and that thing is as painful as the other way around…, that one day you will die and has to say goodbye to your and it will hurt you deep inside thinking how can you protect her if you are not around anymore and the other way is seeing her saying goodbye, because you raised her and want to see her experience all the beautiful things in life but them she has to leave you sooner as you expect…


It is always been scary to have a child, from taking care of her inside your womb and especially for giving birth. But it is always a fulfillment to have her in your arms…



What would it be?

What are you thinking? What are your plans? You were born without anybody asking you if that is what you want to happen. Some baby’s did not get the chance to be born without us hearing their voices if that is what they want…

But living a life is a lot complicated that we thought when we were just a child. When we were little we want to grow up soon to be adults and decide for ourselves what we want to eat and how we want to live our life. But our perception in life changes every year as we grow. We become adult and of course we can’t stop it. But our plans when we were young has changed. Sometimes we cannot eat foods we want because we have chosen people to share our life with that has to be considered in deciding stuff. People who we did not expect to come in our life. Life is too easy without them, we know that. But would you rather choose to have an apeasy life and have a boring and unhappy life forever? Life might be so simpe without them and smooth,  but you will never see yourself smile and laugh again as before.

I’ve been there. It was difficult…, and now I have to choose again.. What would it be?


Who are they?

Most people say choose your friends… But actually why? Why do we have to choose our friends… Friends are people who we can laugh with, talk with and be with… Our friends are like our partners in life, that means for better or for worse…

Breaking up with a lover is what we normally hear but breaking up with friends sounds so strange… Why did we start the friendship in the first place? How did it started? What do we expect from our friends? What do they expect from us? Such questions bothers few of us.

People come and go, but as long we can we hold on with friends…we never want to let them go… But what if you get tired? Or…, is it possible to get tired with friends? If it is? How come?

We love our friends. We make sure that what they do with their lives will lead them to a better life. We get frustrated when we see them in trouble. We want them happy? Is that the reason we expect them to do the same towards us?




In life, we focus much to some few things that we forget to appreciate all the things around us. Most human says that life is short, I never thought of that before when I was a child. I always things to happen according to my timeline, I hated it when I want something to happen and it doesn’t go the way I planned it. But now I realize, life isn’t always getting what we want or planning everything accordingly. Sometimes things just has to happen…, and sometimes we just have have to let them happen… xxx


Writing is fun! This my passion! Just like living is my passion… Being happy is the only thing people wants to be.


I will be out, I don’t know if until when… I hope not for good… So from now on, I will post nothing!!!


All the fun in life can be in one click be gone…  Specially when the foundation is not strong! Goodbye for now!


xxx LLMA